This is unrelated to the post lol. I just really love this song. Shout out to my friend for introducing me to it! :)))
For those who don’t know, I reflect on a lot of things. Ever since I got out of school, I haven’t done anything but reflect. I keep rewinding my life, thinking of everything that has brought me to the point I’m at right now. I always think of the things I should’ve done, could’ve been, and so on. No matter how much I reflect and look back, I can’t deny that everything - both good and bad - has led me up to here. Considering I reflect a lot, that applies to my artistry as well.
I look at everything I create with overly critical eyes. Up until a certain point, I felt like everything had to be perfect. I realize that growing up, I’ve always been placed inside a box. As much as I love my parents, I can’t deny how dismissive they were when it came to me having certain ideas or wanting to do my own things. Any time I did something that didn’t fit this mold, it felt like I wasn’t worth listening to. As an adult, I don’t remember the exact moment, but I eventually gave myself space to figure myself out. I had to see what I wanted outside of other people’s expectations, and I found out I like creating. I love the idea of making something I can be proud of. I hate to bring the mood down, but I wasn’t fully proud of myself before. I didn’t feel like I had a lot going on in my life; a part of me still thinks that, but I believe I was put on this Earth to create. I don’t know; it’s the only thing I get actual enjoyment from. It doesn’t even matter what I’m making anymore. And ever since I realized my art doesn’t have to be perfect, I’ve been more comfortable with the idea of making it. It feels nice to let go of expectations and just live. Everything else, I can figure out later.
- CD ★
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